My first real novel

I wrote this when I was fifteen, it was the first book that had over 100 pages, and I was (am) very proud of it. Looking at it now, I can’t help but notice how similar to “Snow White” it is! The title is “Forgotten“.  

A young girl sat on a rock at the mouth of a great big cave.

The cave was located deep in the woods of Muerte Bosque, which meant woods of death in her language. She wore a long, pale blue dress with long sleeves edged with white cuffs. Her black hair was braided down her back in two long tails, tied with bits of thread. Her skin was lightly tanned, with a few freckles across the bridge of her nose. The girl might have been charming, but her mouth was turned down into a frightful frown, and her dazzling gray eyes, framed in the longest black lashes, were downcast. Though she was tall and willowy, she looked no older than sixteen, but she was really seventeen with her eighteenth year fast approaching. Her hands were tightly clasp around something, lying on her lap. There was a golden circlet that lay a few inches above the girl’s brow. It was the only thing bright, in the forest’s gloom. And it was the only thing that showed this girl was someone special. And she was indeed special. She was a princess, and the rightful heir to the throne. And yet here she sat, an unhappy, unwanted, and unloved girl. She had lived in that cave for over seven years. Why was she not ruling the country you ask? Well, that is quite a long story, so let us begin.

  Only three years after she was born, her beloved, happy, and honest mother died. Her father, the young, proud and very handsome king, ruler of Orientasia, mourned her for many months, paying little, if any attention to his toddling daughter. The girl was looked after by her mother’s hand maid, Lana. Almost a year later, King Trenton had almost recovered from his sadness, but he had become a fierce, short tempered man. All the servants in the castle feared him. The villagers loathed to go to him with their problems. Even Lana, who had been around him since he had married Queen Annett, stayed out of his way. The only human being in the world who did not fear him, who had no need to fear him, was his little daughter, Venus. When Trenton was around her, he was a different person. He was a kind and loving man again, a doting father. He didn’t mind at all when she tugged at his long golden beard, or sat on his chest, bounced up and down and laughing at the top of her lungs. He would hide little golden trinkets in his pockets for her to find and play with. He would take her for rides with him on his big white stallion. He would hold her carefully, never letting her fall. But as soon as he left her side, he was again a fierce man. One day, Lana fell ill. For many days she lay in bed, no longer was she able to care for little Venus. When Lana wouldn’t get well, she was sent to a country with a dryer climate in hopes she would get better. But now, the King had no one who would care for his child. He frightened the village girls so much; they refused to care for the fair little princess.

   One day, a very stately looking woman arrived at the castle. Her long blond hair was twisted up on the back of her head, and stuck out much like a thick horn, as the servants thought of it. Her face was sharp, with a pointy nose, high cheek bones, a dagger like chin, and icy blue eyes. Her face and hands were white as snow, and her gown was made of fox’s fur. She wore high heeled, silk shoes that made her look several inches taller. The king fell in love with her, and married her a few weeks later. The new Queen Lattice was a hard woman. King Trenton now found out she had been married to a wealthy Duke and she had a five and a half year old son. Yet her dislike for little girls was great. This sadly, was another thing the king had not known. For he had long been looking for a wife to care for Venus. But shortly after he was married, he found he had made a great mistake. Lattice despised his darling daughter, and kept well away from her. The king sought for a way to fix his mistake, but he found none. He became a very humbled, feeble, and greatly distressed man. Venus, who was five, greatly disliked her new mother, and made no attempt to hide it. When, on the rare occasion, Lattice spoke to her, Venus ignored her. I rather think it was because Venus sensed the woman was evil, and the girl wanted nothing to do with it. Children have a way of knowing more about people than adults do. King Trenton was now merely a toy in a cat’s grasp. Lattice used him to enforce new laws at her every whim. Lattice was now ruler of Orientasia, and to the king’s great despair, she wished for her son to be the next ruler. He knew that once Lattice’s son was old enough, there would be no hope for his own daughter. He knew Lattice would play with the balance of his kingdom, and somehow, someway, remove Venus from the throne. King Trenton was no longer the proud man he had once been. Now he used his every spare moment looking for a way to get rid of this new queen and her little son. For the next three years, King Trenton searched for a way to fix his mistake.   

  King Trenton spent his last dying day trying to get rid of this hatful woman. Eight year old Venus was past disliking Lattice, she now despised her. She rightly blamed her for her father’s untimely death.


14 thoughts on “My first real novel

    • Thanks! Yes, fifteen. I really started wanting to write around that age, and until this book, I only wrote short (and I do mean short!) westerns.
      I think I’m going to start working on this manuscript again and hope to have it published by the end of summer.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s