Last Monday I decided to interview one of my book characters, Barbados Tom. Here’s how that interview played out.
Me: Good evening, Tom.
Tom: Howdy, ma’am.
Me: Thanks for coming to talk to me. It’s been awhile since we’ve spoken. Mind if I ask you some questions?
Tom: Don’t mind at all! This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with the sequel to The Night I Walked off of Boot Hill, does it?
Me: Well now, I was actually going to lead up to that! But yes, I was going to talk about your new book.
Tom: That’s mighty fine! What sort of perils am I going to face in this next book?
Me: Well, you’re going back to Boot Hill.
Tom: *Looks doubtful* So you’re killing me off, are you?
Me: Not really. You’ll have to wait and see what happens, I don’t want to give away any details just yet, you see.
Tom: Alrighty then. So, when is this jolly good book going to be published?
Me: Probably next year sometime. I can’t say for sure yet.
Tom: You tease.
Me: I’m an author. It’s my job.
Tom: I see. Well then, didn’t you have some questions for me?
Me: Yes. Okay, first, how did you get the name Barbados? Have you ever been there?
Tom: No, I’ve never been there. But when I was a youngster I heard stories of a fellow called Barbados Sam who took a trip to that island whenever he could. the island supposedly granted him invincibility and no lawman could touch him. I hoped the name would bring some good luck to my career.
Me: Oh. And how did that work for you? Did it go as planned?
Tom: You know, for being the author of my book, you’re poorly informed, my dear.
Me: This interview isn’t for my benefit, Tommy.
Tom: Hey now, no name calling.
Me: Actually, Tommy was your given name…
Tom: Never mind. Come on, what’s the next question?
Tom: Um? For a person who makes your living with words, you sure don’t have much to say.
Me: I know everything about you. So asking you questions is hard. Its like I’m asking myself question.
Tom: I disagree. I am nowhere near as boring as you are.
Tom: Its true, you know.
Me: You do want to get killed off in the next book, don’t you?
Tom: *Backtracking* Of course not, I just meant that, well, um…
Me: And now we’re back to “Um.” Fine. This concludes our interview. Have a nice night, Tom. I’ll talk to you again soon.
Tom: Sounds like a mighty fine plan. G’night, ma’am. Night, folks!